Islay Humor

A Farmer on Islay is working on a remote field somewhere in the north looking after his sheep when a shiny new Mercedes pulls over on the side of the single track road. The driver, a posh young man elegantly dressed in a Versace suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and a Rolex wrist watch leans out of his window and says to the farmer: 'If I can tell you exactly how many sheep you have walking here can I get one from you?'

The farmer looks at the yup and says 'All right, why not'.

The yup immediately grabs his Dell laptop and connects it using Bluetooth with his Mobile phone. He makes a GPRS internet connection, surfs to a NASA website and selects a navigation system to determine his exact location. He then sends the data to another NASA satellite, which scans the area and sends the yup a razor sharp picture. He opens Adobe Photoshop and sends the picture back to a laboratory in Hamburg that confirms the processing and storage of the picture. Using several complicated formulas the yup downloads and scans the picture and prints it on his mini HP LaserJet. He looks at the farmer and says 'You have exactly 1586 sheep'.

'You are right' says the farmer. 'You can select one sheep for yourself'

The yup steps out of his car, finds himself an animal and loads it in the boot of his car.

Then the farmer says: 'If I guess your profession, will you give me the animal back?'

The yup thinks and says 'yes, why not.'

The farmer says: 'You're a manager.'

'Unbelievable' says the yup. 'How did you find that out?'

'That was not so hard', says the farmer, 'you turn up here while nobody asked for it, you ask questions nobody is waiting for, you want to get paid for an answer I already know and you understand bloody nothing about my work. Now give me back my dog!'